One of the first times I learned about non-binary identity was in therapy. After weeks of discussing my gender and dissecting my beliefs from what society had imposed on me, my therapist mentioned a client. “They see themselves as the best of all the things,” she said so casually. “They are non-binary. Have you heard of it?”
It clicked for me. I felt seen in a way that I lacked up until that point. I had always felt disconnected from myself, but also from my queer identity. Being a female lesbian is so centered on being a girl. I never understood why I felt all that friction until that moment.
Learning about and then coming out as non-binary wasn’t solely transformative for my life. It changed my work, too. I discovered that binaries – right and wrong, good and bad, win or lose – were often the root of the worst parts of my anxiety. Every question made me more miserable.
My binary mind might have taunted me in the past, but from this place where I stand today? I know there are not binary questions. We don’t pass or fail – at life or work. Creating a project that lands in the green does not mean you were successful. Instead, we ebb and flow, growing closer to our potential each day.
My most significant opportunity in this life is not to make the most money. It is to create something I would have needed. Something that would have accelerated my life, opened my eyes, or been the thing I needed to hear. I want to be someone who makes this planet safer for kids like me that are questioning everything.
I remember asking myself that question when I started creating this pronoun webinar in the first place. What did I need to know? What did I need to see? What did I need to hear?
It was therapeutic to create as I tended to old traumas and wishes for knowing: knowing I was gay, non-binary, and most importantly, that I am worthy of the best things in life. That I will have the most success only if I create with my heart.
Then, we can invite others into the magic. We can give them a gift by creating something with our hearts – a gift that may transform theirs.
That’s what I tried to do with my webinar on pronouns. I don’t usually host my own webinars, but I wanted to create a safe place for my people to experience this.
As the humans who know my stories and have ridden along on this wild ride of creating a company and understanding identity, I want you to see what I made. I want to tell you stories that could change lives for queer people like me everywhere. I want to teach you how to be a safe place for others. I want to find our commonalities. To show you small gestures that can change the world.
Let me show you what I created with my heart. You can register here.
P.S. I’m also doing a giveaway on my blog this week, and our winner is…
Well, if you entered, you should probably check your email.
Kat Kibben [they/them] is a keynote speaker, writing expert, and LGBTQIA+ advocate who teaches hiring teams how to write inclusive job postings that will get the right person to apply faster.
Before founding Three Ears Media, Katrina was a CMO, Technical Copywriter, and Managing Editor for leading companies like Monster, Care.com, and Randstad Worldwide. With 15+ years of recruitment marketing and training experience, Katrina knows how to turn talented recruiting teams into talented writers who write for people, not about work.
Today, Katrina is frequently featured as an HR and recruiting expert in publications like The New York Times, Chicago Tribune, and Forbes. They’ve been named to numerous lists, including LinkedIn’s Top Voices in Job Search & Careers. When not speaking, writing, or training, you’ll find Katrina traveling the country in their van or spending some much needed downtime with the dogs that inspired the name Three Ears Media.