5 Scary Job Posts (Halloween Special 2021)

A few weeks ago while outlining this blog, I tweeted, “show me your scary job posts.” People send me scary job postings every single day. I thought I would be flooded. But there I was, asking all of you to send me the job postings and do my assignment for me on this blog with no response. 

Rude.

Kidding. Kind of. You could’ve just sent me some lousy job postings.

But then I got another idea. One that’s way more fun and proves my whole “I can search any word and find a bad job posting” theory. Bonus: it’s extra scary that I can do it with such random words.

Scary Job Posts: Costume Keywords Edition 

So I tweeted this: If going to other people’s houses as a grown-ass adult and getting candy wasn’t creepy and an awful idea in a pandemic, what would you dress up as?

I used their Halloween costume ideas to find the worst of job descriptions. Shoutout to the folks who played along. 

For $15 an article, you can expect a list of links at best. You are not going to get independent, self-driven, hard-working people. 

These folks have a buzzword bingo full house: dynamic, highly motivated, fast-paced… 

This posting says nothing at all. It’s for a 3D generalist – highly technical work. And they posted this. Years of experience will quantify work. It does not qualify anyone.

I won’t screenshot this one because I try not to shame companies *but* you do not need 29 bullets for a job with no required experience. 

Ever. 

I thought this was a reach at best, but alas, bad job postings are available by searching ANY word. Including “tin tin.”

What did you learn in high school that would qualify you for a warehouse job? I missed that course. Oh right, that’s because it doesn’t exist. So stop with the education requirements that do not influence your work every day. 

Real Talk: Job Posts Are Too Scary For Work

In all seriousness, we need to do better. Job postings are the access point for most people to find jobs that can help them have a better life. We should be writing requirements that make sense — telling the truth. It’s disrespectful to other people’s humanity to do anything else. 

Shameless plug: I can teach your team how to write better job postings in 3 hours, and it will save them time every time they hire. This writing workshop is by far the work I am most proud of and excited to do every day, and I would love to run it for your team. Read this for more details.  

If you’ve picked up on anything by reading this blog, you know this isn’t some lecture or lame training. I make it 1 part heart – teaching teams why they should care – and 1 part tactical. Every person leaves with a job post they wrote in hand. 

Learn more here and send me any scary job postings you come across. Maybe I’ll remember to keep them for next year’s scary job posting blog. 

Job Postings

Kat Kibben View All →

Katrina (Kat) Kibben [they/them] is a keynote speaker, writing expert, and LGBTQIA+ advocate who teaches hiring teams how to write inclusive, unbiased job postings that will get the right person to apply faster.

Before founding Three Ears Media, Katrina was a CMO, Technical Copywriter, and Managing Editor for leading companies like Monster, Care.com, and Randstad Worldwide. With 15+ years of recruitment marketing and training experience, Katrina knows how to turn talented recruiting teams into talented writers who write for people, not about work.

Today, Katrina is frequently featured as an HR and recruiting expert in publications like The New York Times, Chicago Tribune, and Forbes. They’ve been named to numerous lists, including LinkedIn’s Top Voices in Job Search & Careers. When not speaking, writing, or training, you’ll find Katrina traveling the country in their van or spending some much needed downtime with the dogs that inspired the name Three Ears Media.

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